Lately I’ve found myself complaining quite a bit.
Complaining may be too gentle of a word actually. At times I’d hear myself nearly on the brink of whining and I’d internally cringe in embarrassment. I know better than to allow myself to wade in this woe-is-me attitude but somehow here I am, sitting in the middle of my own lonely pity party.
I’m grateful for the dear friends who have lovingly offered me their shoulders to cry on. I can’t imagine that they are anything but tired of my complaints, though they are far too sweet to say so.
The thing about complaining is that it can always be rationalized. We feel pains, we feel betrayal, we feel overwhelmed… all real and sad and difficult.
We deserve to vent about our hurts and frustrations, right?
Well, maybe for a little while. But where does all of the complaining actually get us? Does it solve our problems? Does it make the pain go away?
In fact, our words can give life to something that may not deserve life.
Complaining can temporarily feel good while we have the sympathy of another and the freedom to put our feelings into words, but those words only allow the hurt and the upset to linger much longer than needed.
I may feel justified in talking through a difficult situation with a trusted friend for the third day in a raw, or in venting to my husband nearly non-stop about my aching body, or in crying to my mother, yet again, about how hurt I am by the actions of someone else. But the more I talk about these hurtful and difficult things the more rooted the feelings become inside of me, until each day begins to hold more and more hints of gloomy grey, and something that should have been nothing more than a small wave rocking my boat becomes an all out internal storm threatening to capsize me.
“The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat its fruit” ~ Proverbs 18:21 (NIV)
I am ready to let go of the sadness and the frustration. I am paddling to shore and closing the door on this pity party. I am choosing to refocus my thoughts onto all of the blessings in my life and will not allow hurts and trials to dictate the level of joy in my days.
We all suffer injustices, feel pain, and have regrets. My hope for you is that when you walk through your own trials you’re able to accept some hugs, allow yourself to feel the feelings, and then find a way to quickly and confidently move on. Don’t give life to something that does not deserve it.
~ lots of love and hugs,