When You Can't Make A Decision
~How To Choose in Confidence and Bravery~
Life seems to have themes… moments, days, weeks where it is clear that God is growing me in one particular area.
Recently the lesson in growth is being taught not only through my own walk but also through the lives of the people I love. And lately the subject of study happens to be the confusing conflicted emotions that fill our hearts when we are at a crossroad and must make a decision.
To do nothing, to not decide one way or the other, means stagnating and sitting there in our confusion.
But to actually decide, to grasp onto one choice and discard another, brings fear. What if we make the wrong decision? The future is hazy and we can not see what is ahead and just around the bend, what if we place our feet onto the path that isn’t meant for us?
It’s tempting to put off the decision. We can trick ourselves with the hope that perhaps the choice will be taken out of our hands. At least then if we find ourselves on a path that feels of failure we do not shoulder the blame, we did not actually make the choice after all.
The tough truth is that when we do nothing we have made a choice.
Hasty decisions made out of fear or impatience are rarely the path to fruitfulness. At times the best thing we can do is sit calmly in a state of waiting until we have clarity and peace about the choice we will make.
Yet when God asks us to move we need to move!
When we receive the firm nudge to go and we instead plant our feet right where we are we are missing out on all the incredible adventures that He has planned for us. Sure, it may feel safer at the moment to stay in the familiar but it is most likely not a fulfilling place of purpose where we can find the opportunities to offer our very best to the world.
So what do we do?
How do we make a decision when we know one must be made but we are terrified of choosing wrong and regretting it?
* We accept that there is cause for fear but we bravely push past it and trust.
We remind ourselves that if we have prayed on it and asked our Heavenly Father for direction, and if we have sought the wise counsel of trusted friends and mentors, then we have done our due diligence.
* We stop thinking “but... what if…?”
And instead we ask:
Which direction will allow me to have the most powerful impact?
What is most important to me in my life?
How can I use the current situation and the choices that are in front of me right now to offer more of THAT??
Then we use those answers as courage to take the first steps forward on whatever the particular path may be.
* We give ourselves a deadline.
If you are like me you can sink deep into analyzing mode. I have spent far too many hours in the pages of books and scanning the internet in the name of research. At times I have found myself consumed with the thoughts, questions, and debates in my own head as I create list after list of pros and cons.
Without a deadline we open a window to talk ourselves out of a decision and then two days later find reason to change our minds once again.
There may not be a wrong answer. What if either decision can offer value? There could always be a good and a better… sometimes we just need to pick, commit to seeing our decision through, and to doing the very best we can with whatever that path brings us. And when we begin to question if that choice was really the correct one we stop ourselves, we take a deep breath, and then pray that our choice be used by God to further our special purpose and the work He wants from us.
My heart hurts as I think about my friends and family who are right at this moment at their crossroad. I hear the confusion in their voices, and I read the confliction weaved within their text messages, as they struggle with the decisions in front of them. And I recall a time in very recent weeks when I had stood at a bend in the road unsure of what my own choice should be. I remember the worry I felt over the impact my decision could have on my family and I recall the fierce ups and downs as I considered both the potential excitement and the pitfalls of what each option might offer.
I am here today on the other side of the choices made and am offering you encouragement!
If you are facing a large decision know that you are not alone. Many of us are seeing the same theme play out and are having to learn important lessons in trust and faith as we continue to step into an unknown future.
So now it’s your turn…
How do YOU make decisions when faced with tough choices and are unsure about what path is the best one?
Have you bravely taken steps forward and now look back with more clarity on a decision made?
Message me below and let me know... I’d truly love to hear your thoughts!